Another common question is, “Why do I need to be healed? I’ve found a way to get by, and I’m in no mood to start digging into the past. Let bygones be bygones.” The problem with bygones — traumatic, painful, unpleasant or embarrassing situations in the past — is that they can’t actually be bygones until you’ve gone there and dealt with them. If something is “in the past”, why does it keep bothering you? If you spend a lot of time reacting to people and situations — always irritated or triggered by something or someone — then it’s time to take an honest look at the past because this is a sign of some unfinished business.
We don’t take a look at the past to point fingers, blame somebody or see how bad we’ve been. We go back there because we lost some ground to the devil, and it’s in our best interest to take it back.
All of us have a half-baked idea of who God is and how He operates. This idea is based on our experiences and relationships with parents and other authority figures. We figure if God put these people in charge, then He must be like them. Some of you had a really bad experience with your mom or dad, either being emotionally damaged by them or perhaps they were never there at all. While God is perfectly aware of these harmful situations (and in fact allowed them to happen), it is important to understand that it is not His desire to keep you in the pain and suffering that you experienced. Allow this thought to settle deep into your soul. Your Heavenly Father is not like the people who wrecked your life. He is not “okay” with the damage that’s been done to you. He wants to heal it! There is absolutely nothing that can’t be healed by Jesus.
We live in a fallen world where Satan loves when we blame God for his devious schemes. He’ll often plant the lie that says, “God doesn’t care about you. He is not responding to your cry for help, why don’t we try some anger, rage or hatred?” I can’t blame you for using these emotions as a child because we have to survive somehow, but have you noticed that these emotions never produce anything positive? It’s time to try a different approach. Some of you deal with less violent, subtle emotions such as depression, self-pity, jealousy, etc, but the story is still the same — they never produce anything good. The devil’s junk cannot produce healing or restoration.
Many believers become frustrated because they have been asking for healing but it isn’t happening. Some of the biggest reasons for this are fear, shame and a shortage of people who know how to deal with issues. A person generally will not open their heart until they realize they are talking to a “safe” person (someone who is the forgiving type like Jesus, who is not shocked or alarmed by someone’s sins, versus the condemning type like the Pharisees, who took every opportunity to expose or shame someone). I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say, “I’ve never told anyone about this.” We’re talking about issues that have been destroying this person for years, and they never told a soul! It’s probably for good reason. Many in the church today (including leaders) are still carrying some baggage. This causes them to get a little nervous when you mention things from your past. However, it is imperative that we find someone we can talk to because Jesus works through people, and when you share your story with a fellow believer, you are sharing it with Christ (Matthew 18:20).
Miracles happen when fellow believers humble themselves and become accountable to each other. I don’t understand why God requires one imperfect human being to be in agreement with another imperfect human being for the sake of healing; I just know that it works. When we confess our faults “to one another”, healing can take place (James 5:16). If you share your experiences with a person who knows how and when to bring Jesus into the picture, you can experience a peace that you didn’t know was possible. Your issues will not be crammed into a closet, they will be healed and gone forever. Sharing your story is not fun or popular, and many have decided to just carry their garbage to their grave. “It’s too embarrassing, and after all, God has already forgiven me.” Yes, His grace is marvelous isn’t it, but the garbage can still kill you if it stays locked in your soul, and there is nothing God can do about that until we ask for His help (God can sovereignly heal anyone at any time if He so chooses, but I have found that this is the exception, not the rule).
Many unnecessary physical problems stem from unconfessed (or even unknown) and unhealed areas in the soul. Many marriages are suffering from a lack of openness and honesty. You cannot afford to hide anything from your spouse because the garbage that was carried into the marriage (something that happened to you or something that you did to someone else) keeps you from experiencing true intimacy with your spouse. Sooner or later your little secrets will come to the surface and the relationship will be tainted, if not destroyed. Some people figure, “If I confess to my spouse, it’ll cost me my marriage!” I believe the opposite is true. If you don’t confess to your spouse it will cost you your marriage (and you’ll never experience true intimacy). Your spouse might be an emotional wreck, and maybe you feel like they are not in a place where they can handle the truth about your past (or present), but let’s look at it from a different angle. Perhaps your spouse is an emotional wreck because you haven’t shared the truth about your past/present (obviously you’ll want to do this gently and prayerfully. There is a time and a place for everything). The skeletons in your closet could be costing you more than you realize.
God wants to take your relationship with Him and with others to a new level. This is both wonderful and scary. Wonderful because the kingdom of God is a wonderful thing, scary because this means there will be an exchange — your “gory” for his “glory.” God (out of respect for free-will) is reluctant to fill an area in your soul that is already filled with something else. You must be willing to give something up. The ball is in your court. God did His part by sending Jesus. The next part is up to you.
*Typo: “closets impact”