At some point on your healing journey, you will have to address the “where was God” question. The devil always throws this one in somewhere to weaken our faith and cause us to question God’s ability. The best I can do here is give you my own thoughts and opinions, after witnessing the healing power of Jesus in hundreds of sessions.
We all want to serve and worship a big God, and we do, however, this big God of ours gave everyone something called a “free will”. If a man or woman decides to do something really nasty, they are somewhat free to do that. This does not make God a weakling; it simply means he is not a dictator. I say “somewhat free” for two reasons. They could be in trouble with the law, and, there is great danger in abusing the grace of God. Perhaps you were hoping and praying for your enemies to be struck by lightning, but if that were to happen where would it stop? We have all sinned, so that would mean there’s a lightning bolt out there with your name on it.
There were times when God dealt with people in this manner, but in our day and age, there is a whole lot of grace happening, so don’t expect Him to wipe out your enemies overnight. And of course we have the example and teachings of Jesus, showing us and telling us how to pray for the people who treated us like pin cushions.
Here’s the bottom line. God was with you in every situation. Crying with you, feeling your pain, and encouraging you to bring it to Him. But if you didn’t get that memo, there’s a good chance you believed the devil’s lies — “God is mad at me.” — “He doesn’t love me or care about me.” — and in your mind, God became the enemy. This is where you took matters into your own hands because you figured, “I can’t trust anyone, and God certainly isn’t doing anything for me!” We either get tough or die, and most of us get tough. In an effort to protect ourselves we build walls in our hearts and minds, and Jesus, being the gentleman that He is, gives us our space (how close would you get to someone who thinks you’re the bad guy?).
We didn’t build these walls to keep God from helping us, but that’s exactly what happens. The very thing that was built for survival ends up killing us. Walls separate us from God and God’s people. We can pray, cry, fast, meditate and so on, but none of those things bring our walls down. They come down when we deal with the pain that caused them in the first place.
If you find yourself using some of the “Medications” listed below, then quite possibly you have deep rooted pain (or unfinished business) in your soul.
True and lasting freedom (healing) is a very real possibility for anyone who is willing to find and bring these issues to Jesus (from the soul, to the cross). Those who try to change their behavior on their own, or medicate themselves back to health, are in for a long, losing battle. And if you choose to just “sweep it under the rug”, remember that the “rug” is in your mind. The garbage is still there, and Satan will have fun with it.