Identifying your own starting position is a very important first step of the journey. You can’t go from A to B if you don’t know where A is. In this chapter we address several possibilities, and since no two people are exactly the same (even those who have experienced the same traumas, such as siblings), your starting position will be unique.
To use baseball as an analogy, some people have been standing out in right field, but acting like they’re on the pitcher’s mound. Nothing against right fielders, but pitchers are a more vital part of the game, involved in every pitch. You can move up to the pitcher’s position, but not until you acknowledge the fact that your starting point is right field. Understanding our role is important. A pinch-runner for example, is not brought into the game to hit a home run. Sometimes we think we’re the star player, when in reality, we’re barely in the game. Highly traumatized people should not expect to be the pitching Ace on God’s staff, they should be taking some time to be healed.
For those who deal with a split mind or multiple personalities, life can be an absolute nightmare. Sometimes you feel like a child, sometimes you feel like you’ve been around forever. Sometimes you’re okay with yourself, at other times you wish you’d never been born. People with high levels of this struggle with self-hate, depression and other negative effects. When unhealed parts of the mind are angry or in pain, a civil war breaks out on the inside. These damaged parts are capable of really hurting someone, while another part can be acting like a saint. In many cases the “good” parts hate the “bad” parts, the younger despises the older, or vice-versa. These kinds of “good” versus “bad” mental battles are especially common among religious people (including believers). When a person knows the difference between right and wrong but can’t stop doing what they know is wrong, the conflict can become unbearable and serious damage can occur in the soul.
Damaged minds have a sick way of dealing with people and situations, and since we’ve all been damaged in some way, we must give ourselves the opportunity to be healed. Don’t reject the hurting parts of your heart and mind just because you don’t like what they’ve become. That’s what started the whole mess in the first place. These parts need to be loved, healed by Jesus, and restored to their original position in your soul. They don’t need more rejection.
Those of us who aren’t dealing with issues of this magnitude have a lot to be thankful for, however, it is important to recognize the fact that we may still need healing. Our problems never seem as bad when compared to someone who’s had a rougher life, or just made worse choices (and maybe done some really bad things). But if we compare ourselves to Jesus and strive to be a reflection of Him, then our faults become more clear and the healing journey can begin.
I’d like to encourage those of you who have been dealing with a “thorn in the flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7) that was not designed for you. Sometimes we suffer unnecessarily, convincing ourselves that we’re “suffering for Jesus”, when it’s not the kind of suffering that Jesus talked about at all. Persecution and martyrdom are both high and honorable callings, make no mistake about it; but suffering simply because we were damaged or deceived at some point in our lives is very different.
This kind of “suffering” is plaguing many people in America today, and is often justified by leaders and pastors who - because they don’t know how to help people deal with the root of their problems - are quick to say it is your thorn in the flesh (i.e. something that God put in your life to keep you humble). Of course, these are the same people who will tell you to “see a doctor” or “seek professional help” to combat the very thing that is supposedly your thorn in the flesh. How much sense does that make?
The truth is, most of our problems stem from pockets of darkness (curses, lies, trauma, etc.), and these areas are Satan’s playground. The good news is they can be located and removed. Jesus made it possible to be free, but we must do our part.
If God is putting His finger on a few areas of your soul that need work, don’t be discouraged. He is trying to help you, not hurt you. He has a plan for your life; but unhealed areas will cause you to take a detour. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of “going around the mountain again”. It’s time to graduate now, and move into God’s perfect will. I encourage you to start the healing journey today. You will not be disappointed. God has been in love with you since the day you were conceived in your mother’s womb. Actually even before that. Wouldn’t it be great to feel that for a change?
It doesn’t matter how muddy the water is, or how much has gone over the dam - God wants you free. It is never too late to start the healing journey.
We are running a race in which your participation is the important thing. You don’t have to be the biggest or fastest runner; you just have to be in the race. If you’re not running, I encourage you to start. If you’ve been knocked down, get back on your feet. God has some good things in mind for you. The race won’t be easy, but you’ll be glad you decided to run.